Thursday, June 27, 2013
Radiation Oncologists, Medical Oncologists and Surgeons oh my!
So over the past 2 days I have met with every member of my cancer care team, my Radiation Oncologist, my Medical Oncologist and my surgeon. They all basically said the same thing, that they spoke about me at Cancer panel last week, went over every single test I had since my first mammogram. They all seemed kind of disappointment that the chemo did not do more, but said the chemo did do something, it killed some of the cancer which helps!. The amount of positive lymph nodes concerns them and I was told that I have a right to be concerned as well (gee, thanks doc!). Any who, this cancer is still considered "potentially curable" meaning that it may not kill me. As I explained in the previous blog the way it works with breast cancer is they know they cured you when/if you die of something else. So I will never hear, "you are cured". The most I can hope for is a NED (No evidence of disease) classification, which means that there may be cancer hanging out somewhere but they do not see evidence of it.
There is a chance I will die of old age, which makes me happy and that is my goal. To make this happen I have to continue to jump through the Doctors hoops and try to make myself as healthy as possible.
I was presented with another treatment option yesterday, which will be discussed further after my radiation is completed. It is a difficult choice to make, so prayers please!
That is all for now,
I Fight Like A Woman
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
A Cure
Hello Dear Friends,
Recently I was asked by a friend if I was in remission. The short answer is no. The long answer is a little more difficult for people that do not have cancer to understand. I will never be told that I am cured, I will never be told that I am in remission. The only way the doctors have of knowing if I beat this cancer is when I die of something else. Nice, huh?
At first this news was hard to take but, it is the reality of things. The Drs. will never know if I have cancer cells hiding out someplace in my body waiting for their chance to multiply. I do not know my chances of developing metastatic breast cancer (stage IV), but the chance is always there. My surgeon told me today that he doubts that he got all the cancer, he said there is probably some lymph node with some cancer left in it, that cannot be helped. The Good news of it all is that the Chemo did kick some butt, it decreased the amount of live cancer in my body, the surgery took out most of the rest of it, hopefully the radiation will take care of whatever is left. And in addition to that I am on hormone therapy for at least 5 years. And as you already know I am on Herceptin for a year.
I am slowly coming to peace with the fact that I am going to spend the rest of my life with Breast Cancer looming somewheres in the background. I just hope it is a long life, after all, I have to grow old with my husband :-). In addition to that I have many other things that I wish to do in my life.
For all those that are dealing with this horrid fucking disease; know that you are a survivor from day one of your diagnosis. Know that there are 5, 10, 15, 20 plus year survivors. You will hang in there! And one day there will even be a cure. There is a breast cancer vaccine in clinical trials, I will blog about it once I have more information.
That is all for now,
-I Fight like a woman!
Recently I was asked by a friend if I was in remission. The short answer is no. The long answer is a little more difficult for people that do not have cancer to understand. I will never be told that I am cured, I will never be told that I am in remission. The only way the doctors have of knowing if I beat this cancer is when I die of something else. Nice, huh?
At first this news was hard to take but, it is the reality of things. The Drs. will never know if I have cancer cells hiding out someplace in my body waiting for their chance to multiply. I do not know my chances of developing metastatic breast cancer (stage IV), but the chance is always there. My surgeon told me today that he doubts that he got all the cancer, he said there is probably some lymph node with some cancer left in it, that cannot be helped. The Good news of it all is that the Chemo did kick some butt, it decreased the amount of live cancer in my body, the surgery took out most of the rest of it, hopefully the radiation will take care of whatever is left. And in addition to that I am on hormone therapy for at least 5 years. And as you already know I am on Herceptin for a year.
I am slowly coming to peace with the fact that I am going to spend the rest of my life with Breast Cancer looming somewheres in the background. I just hope it is a long life, after all, I have to grow old with my husband :-). In addition to that I have many other things that I wish to do in my life.
For all those that are dealing with this horrid fucking disease; know that you are a survivor from day one of your diagnosis. Know that there are 5, 10, 15, 20 plus year survivors. You will hang in there! And one day there will even be a cure. There is a breast cancer vaccine in clinical trials, I will blog about it once I have more information.
That is all for now,
-I Fight like a woman!
Monday, June 24, 2013
Thank You
Hello All,
I just wanted to give a few shout outs on this blog for people who have been amazing throughout this journey so far.
First my husband, Thank you for standing by me. I could not get through any of this if it were not for you. You are the reason I fight so hard. I look forward to many many many more years with you. I love you more than words can express.
My family. My mom has been my chauffeur and a shoulder to try on throughout this. You are amazing and I love you so much.
To my mother in law; who missed Christmas with most of the family and her grandchildren to be with me as I started chemo. This woman raised the most amazing man in the world, so you know she has to be amazing herself. When I think of the term Aishes Chayil, this is the woman that pops into my mind.
Aunts, Uncles Cousins, Thank you all for your well wishes, headcoverings and flowers. I love you all.
To my best buddy Liz, who has been an incredible source of strength to me during all of this. She knows how to make me laugh and listens to me when I cry. Thank you Liz!
To my Army, thank you all for being there for me through the terrible times and the good times. Thank you for the gifts and especially for the support. You are true friends.
To Young Pink Sisters, my support group. I love you all. We are all battling this horrible thing and at the same time manage to be there for one another. As long as I have ya'll in my life I know I am never alone.
To Charon: my breast cancer mentor, as I like to call you. Thank you for being there for me throughout all of this. Thank you for the gifts, the prayers, the words of encouragement and checking on me. (((hug)))
To my work friends:
THANK YOU! For covering for me when I am out dealing with this bastard Cancer. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I am sooo lucky to work for the company I do. Everyone from HR, to the President, CEO, Department heads, managers, supervisors, team leads and co workers are all amazing. You each have amazing gifts and strengths and every day I look forward to going to work or at times back to work it is because of you!
To my non work friends. You are all crazy, wonderful and beautiful! I am blessed to have you in my life.
To my Cancer Team (nurses, drs. phlebotomists etc) Thank you for actually caring about me. Seeing more than just a name with a diagnosis. Thank you for consoling me when I get terrified of treatment. For holding my hand as I go through this nightmare. Thank you for never missing a stick when you draw my blood or access my port. Thank you for working so hard to save my life. I will always be grateful to you all.
To my dear blog readers, Thank you! Just knowing that you are coming to my blog and reading my rants helps me more than you can know. I hope some how, some way this blog has helped you.
That Is All For Now,
I Fight Like A Woman
I just wanted to give a few shout outs on this blog for people who have been amazing throughout this journey so far.
First my husband, Thank you for standing by me. I could not get through any of this if it were not for you. You are the reason I fight so hard. I look forward to many many many more years with you. I love you more than words can express.
My family. My mom has been my chauffeur and a shoulder to try on throughout this. You are amazing and I love you so much.
To my mother in law; who missed Christmas with most of the family and her grandchildren to be with me as I started chemo. This woman raised the most amazing man in the world, so you know she has to be amazing herself. When I think of the term Aishes Chayil, this is the woman that pops into my mind.
Aunts, Uncles Cousins, Thank you all for your well wishes, headcoverings and flowers. I love you all.
To my best buddy Liz, who has been an incredible source of strength to me during all of this. She knows how to make me laugh and listens to me when I cry. Thank you Liz!
To my Army, thank you all for being there for me through the terrible times and the good times. Thank you for the gifts and especially for the support. You are true friends.
To Young Pink Sisters, my support group. I love you all. We are all battling this horrible thing and at the same time manage to be there for one another. As long as I have ya'll in my life I know I am never alone.
To Charon: my breast cancer mentor, as I like to call you. Thank you for being there for me throughout all of this. Thank you for the gifts, the prayers, the words of encouragement and checking on me. (((hug)))
To my work friends:
THANK YOU! For covering for me when I am out dealing with this bastard Cancer. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I am sooo lucky to work for the company I do. Everyone from HR, to the President, CEO, Department heads, managers, supervisors, team leads and co workers are all amazing. You each have amazing gifts and strengths and every day I look forward to going to work or at times back to work it is because of you!
To my non work friends. You are all crazy, wonderful and beautiful! I am blessed to have you in my life.
To my Cancer Team (nurses, drs. phlebotomists etc) Thank you for actually caring about me. Seeing more than just a name with a diagnosis. Thank you for consoling me when I get terrified of treatment. For holding my hand as I go through this nightmare. Thank you for never missing a stick when you draw my blood or access my port. Thank you for working so hard to save my life. I will always be grateful to you all.
To my dear blog readers, Thank you! Just knowing that you are coming to my blog and reading my rants helps me more than you can know. I hope some how, some way this blog has helped you.
That Is All For Now,
I Fight Like A Woman
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
update.
Just a quick update, I had my mastectomy on June 12th. I am still recovering and hope to post a longer blog soon.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Amazons and Mastectomies
My Mastectomy is going to happen in less than 48 hours. I am getting very nervous, but I have found strength. Oddly enough I found it in the oddest of place; the legend of the Amazon warriors. The legend states that there was a group of women warriors who were so fierce that they cut off their right breasts so they would be better archers. Historians believe that this myth was started to make their advisories even more fearful of them. So long story short the Amazon warriors were bad asses. Well I am doing it for real. I am a fierce warrior cutting off my breast, not to be a better archer (although that would be a plus), but to defeat my foe, Breast Cancer. I hope this scares the Breast Cancer off so it never returns. However if chemo and a mastectomy are not enough of a deterrent, radiation should be.
I will not quit fighting this war, I have too much to live for. I will grow old with my husband.
That is all for now,
I Fight Like A Woman.
I will not quit fighting this war, I have too much to live for. I will grow old with my husband.
That is all for now,
I Fight Like A Woman.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Preparing for my mastectomy
This weekend I began to prepare for my mastectomy. I had my pre-op appointment last week and did a little shopping. I bought some wet ones (anti bacterial wipes) for my hospital bag, as well as some baby wipes (I figure showering the day after surgery will not be an option). I also bought an outfit to wear home; a white button down short sleeve top and a pair of white shorts. I also bought some comfy tank tops and camis (I am hoping to convert these into mastectomy camis and tank tops with a pocket for my foob (fake boob) and a shelf bra for my remaining breast). I did buy a post surgical cami and boy is it uuuuggglly, I will post a pic of it. It cost $60.00 US; has pockets for my drains and for my foob; however its an ugly beige color and not the height of fashion, but there are no seams to bother me so we will see how it goes. I have to dig out a pair of slip on slippers that I have somewheres if the dog did not eat them! I will also bring my white flip flops to wear home (my wedding flip flops), I figure they will make me happy; I love those things. Now that I think of it I should probably bring some tissues. Not sure what else to bring, Ideas anyone???
Today I am a week and two days from Mastectomy day. Getting nervous but all will be okay. I will beat this cancer into oblivion!
Sisters/brothers that are battling breast cancer; the battle is difficult; but it is worth it to keep fighting! I will win and so will you!!
That is all for now
-I Fight Like a Woman!
Today I am a week and two days from Mastectomy day. Getting nervous but all will be okay. I will beat this cancer into oblivion!
Sisters/brothers that are battling breast cancer; the battle is difficult; but it is worth it to keep fighting! I will win and so will you!!
That is all for now
-I Fight Like a Woman!
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Wow it has been a long time since I blogged
I apologize that I have not blogged in so long. I am back to work part time now and that takes a lot out of me. Anywho, an update.
I finished my chemotherapy on March 27th. I am very relieved to be past it. Recovery is taking awhile. I am still exhausted and have some neuropathy. But on the plus side my hair is growing back! As some of you know, after chemo I was given a choice: mastectomy or lumpectomy. My surgeon was recommending radiation either way. This choice was the most difficult one I have ever made. I knew a lumpectomy would leave me disfigured, but would conserve the breast. I knew a mastectomy meant that I would be living without a breast for 6 months to a year. I was worried what my husband would think, how he would feel about me once the surgery was done. I was wondering how I would cope with either decision. With a lumpectomy I would be left with a fear of a local recurrence. I figured every lump and bump would terrify me and I do not want to spend my life being afraid. Although to be honest I think I will always be afraid at some level because there is a small chance of metastasis. I spent hours on the internet looking at message boards and for pictures of lumpectomies, mastectomies and reconstruction. I came across the scar project http://thescarproject.org/ and looked at the photos. Those women were beautiful even with lacking one or both breasts. This gave me courage. I decided I would have the mastectomy, save myself some of the worry and I will still be beautiful :-).
So my mastectomy and auxillary node clearance are scheduled for June 12th. I am scared, but I know it is the best decision for me. Once I finish with the surgery aprox 3 weeks later I will begin to have radiation, oh the joy! Cancer, the gift that keeps on giving! But, it will be okay. As of June 14th, I will be an 8 month breast cancer survivor!
For those facing the mastectomy/lumpectomy choice. Consult your cancer team. But, this I promise you no matter your choice mastectomy or lumpectomy; it is the correct one! Own your choice, never doubt it, never look back! You are strong, you are courageous and you are beautiful. You will win in the end!
That is all for now,
I Fight Like A Woman
I finished my chemotherapy on March 27th. I am very relieved to be past it. Recovery is taking awhile. I am still exhausted and have some neuropathy. But on the plus side my hair is growing back! As some of you know, after chemo I was given a choice: mastectomy or lumpectomy. My surgeon was recommending radiation either way. This choice was the most difficult one I have ever made. I knew a lumpectomy would leave me disfigured, but would conserve the breast. I knew a mastectomy meant that I would be living without a breast for 6 months to a year. I was worried what my husband would think, how he would feel about me once the surgery was done. I was wondering how I would cope with either decision. With a lumpectomy I would be left with a fear of a local recurrence. I figured every lump and bump would terrify me and I do not want to spend my life being afraid. Although to be honest I think I will always be afraid at some level because there is a small chance of metastasis. I spent hours on the internet looking at message boards and for pictures of lumpectomies, mastectomies and reconstruction. I came across the scar project http://thescarproject.org/ and looked at the photos. Those women were beautiful even with lacking one or both breasts. This gave me courage. I decided I would have the mastectomy, save myself some of the worry and I will still be beautiful :-).
So my mastectomy and auxillary node clearance are scheduled for June 12th. I am scared, but I know it is the best decision for me. Once I finish with the surgery aprox 3 weeks later I will begin to have radiation, oh the joy! Cancer, the gift that keeps on giving! But, it will be okay. As of June 14th, I will be an 8 month breast cancer survivor!
For those facing the mastectomy/lumpectomy choice. Consult your cancer team. But, this I promise you no matter your choice mastectomy or lumpectomy; it is the correct one! Own your choice, never doubt it, never look back! You are strong, you are courageous and you are beautiful. You will win in the end!
That is all for now,
I Fight Like A Woman
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