This weekend I began to prepare for my mastectomy. I had my pre-op appointment last week and did a little shopping. I bought some wet ones (anti bacterial wipes) for my hospital bag, as well as some baby wipes (I figure showering the day after surgery will not be an option). I also bought an outfit to wear home; a white button down short sleeve top and a pair of white shorts. I also bought some comfy tank tops and camis (I am hoping to convert these into mastectomy camis and tank tops with a pocket for my foob (fake boob) and a shelf bra for my remaining breast). I did buy a post surgical cami and boy is it uuuuggglly, I will post a pic of it. It cost $60.00 US; has pockets for my drains and for my foob; however its an ugly beige color and not the height of fashion, but there are no seams to bother me so we will see how it goes. I have to dig out a pair of slip on slippers that I have somewheres if the dog did not eat them! I will also bring my white flip flops to wear home (my wedding flip flops), I figure they will make me happy; I love those things. Now that I think of it I should probably bring some tissues. Not sure what else to bring, Ideas anyone???
Today I am a week and two days from Mastectomy day. Getting nervous but all will be okay. I will beat this cancer into oblivion!
Sisters/brothers that are battling breast cancer; the battle is difficult; but it is worth it to keep fighting! I will win and so will you!!
That is all for now
-I Fight Like a Woman!
Monday, June 3, 2013
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Wow it has been a long time since I blogged
I apologize that I have not blogged in so long. I am back to work part time now and that takes a lot out of me. Anywho, an update.
I finished my chemotherapy on March 27th. I am very relieved to be past it. Recovery is taking awhile. I am still exhausted and have some neuropathy. But on the plus side my hair is growing back! As some of you know, after chemo I was given a choice: mastectomy or lumpectomy. My surgeon was recommending radiation either way. This choice was the most difficult one I have ever made. I knew a lumpectomy would leave me disfigured, but would conserve the breast. I knew a mastectomy meant that I would be living without a breast for 6 months to a year. I was worried what my husband would think, how he would feel about me once the surgery was done. I was wondering how I would cope with either decision. With a lumpectomy I would be left with a fear of a local recurrence. I figured every lump and bump would terrify me and I do not want to spend my life being afraid. Although to be honest I think I will always be afraid at some level because there is a small chance of metastasis. I spent hours on the internet looking at message boards and for pictures of lumpectomies, mastectomies and reconstruction. I came across the scar project http://thescarproject.org/ and looked at the photos. Those women were beautiful even with lacking one or both breasts. This gave me courage. I decided I would have the mastectomy, save myself some of the worry and I will still be beautiful :-).
So my mastectomy and auxillary node clearance are scheduled for June 12th. I am scared, but I know it is the best decision for me. Once I finish with the surgery aprox 3 weeks later I will begin to have radiation, oh the joy! Cancer, the gift that keeps on giving! But, it will be okay. As of June 14th, I will be an 8 month breast cancer survivor!
For those facing the mastectomy/lumpectomy choice. Consult your cancer team. But, this I promise you no matter your choice mastectomy or lumpectomy; it is the correct one! Own your choice, never doubt it, never look back! You are strong, you are courageous and you are beautiful. You will win in the end!
That is all for now,
I Fight Like A Woman
I finished my chemotherapy on March 27th. I am very relieved to be past it. Recovery is taking awhile. I am still exhausted and have some neuropathy. But on the plus side my hair is growing back! As some of you know, after chemo I was given a choice: mastectomy or lumpectomy. My surgeon was recommending radiation either way. This choice was the most difficult one I have ever made. I knew a lumpectomy would leave me disfigured, but would conserve the breast. I knew a mastectomy meant that I would be living without a breast for 6 months to a year. I was worried what my husband would think, how he would feel about me once the surgery was done. I was wondering how I would cope with either decision. With a lumpectomy I would be left with a fear of a local recurrence. I figured every lump and bump would terrify me and I do not want to spend my life being afraid. Although to be honest I think I will always be afraid at some level because there is a small chance of metastasis. I spent hours on the internet looking at message boards and for pictures of lumpectomies, mastectomies and reconstruction. I came across the scar project http://thescarproject.org/ and looked at the photos. Those women were beautiful even with lacking one or both breasts. This gave me courage. I decided I would have the mastectomy, save myself some of the worry and I will still be beautiful :-).
So my mastectomy and auxillary node clearance are scheduled for June 12th. I am scared, but I know it is the best decision for me. Once I finish with the surgery aprox 3 weeks later I will begin to have radiation, oh the joy! Cancer, the gift that keeps on giving! But, it will be okay. As of June 14th, I will be an 8 month breast cancer survivor!
For those facing the mastectomy/lumpectomy choice. Consult your cancer team. But, this I promise you no matter your choice mastectomy or lumpectomy; it is the correct one! Own your choice, never doubt it, never look back! You are strong, you are courageous and you are beautiful. You will win in the end!
That is all for now,
I Fight Like A Woman
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Signs of a changed life
In my Cancer journey certain events stay with me that inform me that my life has forever changed. Here is a list of a few.
1. Being told that I have Breast Cancer.
2. Knowing that I will need a lumpectomy or mastectomy.
3. Being told I need to have Chemotherapy and that it might take away my ability to have children.
4. Receiving my prescription of Tamoxifen. Instructions read, take one per day, for FIVE years!
5. Dr. told me that I will need to have Radiation.
6. Being told there is a small but very real chance that this cancer can metastasize and kill me one day.
My life has changed and sometimes I find myself depressed by the magnitude of it all. But, looking at the bright side, I am stronger than I ever thought I was, I am more grateful to be alive and I know what matters in my life.
For those going through treatment. It sucks doesn't it? Whether your going through chemotherapy, antibody therapy, hormone therapy, radiation therapy and/or surgery its rough! All of it seems to take a piece of you, whether its your energy, your security and/or your piece of mind. Just know that you are strong, you have made it this far and you will make it the rest of the way!!
That is all for now,
-I Fight Like a Woman.
1. Being told that I have Breast Cancer.
2. Knowing that I will need a lumpectomy or mastectomy.
3. Being told I need to have Chemotherapy and that it might take away my ability to have children.
4. Receiving my prescription of Tamoxifen. Instructions read, take one per day, for FIVE years!
5. Dr. told me that I will need to have Radiation.
6. Being told there is a small but very real chance that this cancer can metastasize and kill me one day.
My life has changed and sometimes I find myself depressed by the magnitude of it all. But, looking at the bright side, I am stronger than I ever thought I was, I am more grateful to be alive and I know what matters in my life.
For those going through treatment. It sucks doesn't it? Whether your going through chemotherapy, antibody therapy, hormone therapy, radiation therapy and/or surgery its rough! All of it seems to take a piece of you, whether its your energy, your security and/or your piece of mind. Just know that you are strong, you have made it this far and you will make it the rest of the way!!
That is all for now,
-I Fight Like a Woman.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
A Choice
Hi All,
I have not been blogging recently due to a crappy bought with bronchitis. Got another script for antibiotics to help fight off the remnants. I was moved to blog tonight because I am faced with yet another choice associated with Cancer.
When someone is diagnosed with Cancer they are thrust into a world of choices. Most of the choices really are not choices because it is do this or you can die. For instance, I could have turned down chemo but that would have meant that my Cancer would kill me. For the past few weeks my oncologist has been urging me to make a choice between Lumpectomy and Mastectomy. This is one of the hardest choices I have ever been faced with. Per the oncologist the survival rate is the same for Lumpectomy plus radiation and Mastectomy. But, do I want to put myself at a risk for a reccurance, even though the chance is low? Do I want to lose my breast or breasts? I am so afraid of making the wrong choice. Even if I do get rid of both breasts there is still a chance this cancer will come back in another part of my body.
I have an appointment with my surgeon tomorrow to discuss my choices. I have questions for him and the radiation oncologist, the answers will determine my choice. I just hope to make the right one.
That is all for now
-I Fight Like a Woman
I have not been blogging recently due to a crappy bought with bronchitis. Got another script for antibiotics to help fight off the remnants. I was moved to blog tonight because I am faced with yet another choice associated with Cancer.
When someone is diagnosed with Cancer they are thrust into a world of choices. Most of the choices really are not choices because it is do this or you can die. For instance, I could have turned down chemo but that would have meant that my Cancer would kill me. For the past few weeks my oncologist has been urging me to make a choice between Lumpectomy and Mastectomy. This is one of the hardest choices I have ever been faced with. Per the oncologist the survival rate is the same for Lumpectomy plus radiation and Mastectomy. But, do I want to put myself at a risk for a reccurance, even though the chance is low? Do I want to lose my breast or breasts? I am so afraid of making the wrong choice. Even if I do get rid of both breasts there is still a chance this cancer will come back in another part of my body.
I have an appointment with my surgeon tomorrow to discuss my choices. I have questions for him and the radiation oncologist, the answers will determine my choice. I just hope to make the right one.
That is all for now
-I Fight Like a Woman
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Still recovering/planning for surgery
Hi All,
I am still recovering from big chemo number 6. Cannot believe I made it through, yeow! Anywho, still dealing with feeling crappy, I think I have thrush again. At least I can get that addressed when I see my oncologist again tomorrow.
As I mentioned in previous blogs surgery is the next step in this process. It is very scary because my husband and I are making a choice that will change me forever. Our choices (currently) Lumpectomy with Radiation (and that is if a scan says it is okay), Mastectomy or Double Mastectomy. Many women have said that they would do the Double Mastectomy. I think I would say the same if I were in their position. But, these are my breasts, part of me. I dreamed that one day they would nourish my future children, now they can kill me; heck one has already tried! The thing that makes this choice more difficult is that I do not think I would qualify for immediate reconstruction because we do not know how many lymph nodes had/have cancer in them. If I have over a certain amount of lymph nodes effected I will need radiation and they just do not do reconstruction before radiation. So I could face being boobless or a one boober for awhile. Not fun. So I have been exploring the internet looking up breast forms, bras etc. Information about recovery times from different procedures etc. It is all very sad and scary. But in the end I will make the hard choices and reach my goal of growing old with my husband.
I am going to try to start posting to this blog more often now that I am past chemo, so check back for updates.
On a positive note I got hair trying to come back in!!! So its time for hairwatch 2013!!! hehehe. I will keep you updated and post pics of my progress! After chemo hair can come in differently. So... will my hair come in curly or straight? what color will it be? will I just dye it anyways. We will see. I am going to try and have fun with this part.
That is all for now,
-I Fight Like A Woman
I am still recovering from big chemo number 6. Cannot believe I made it through, yeow! Anywho, still dealing with feeling crappy, I think I have thrush again. At least I can get that addressed when I see my oncologist again tomorrow.
As I mentioned in previous blogs surgery is the next step in this process. It is very scary because my husband and I are making a choice that will change me forever. Our choices (currently) Lumpectomy with Radiation (and that is if a scan says it is okay), Mastectomy or Double Mastectomy. Many women have said that they would do the Double Mastectomy. I think I would say the same if I were in their position. But, these are my breasts, part of me. I dreamed that one day they would nourish my future children, now they can kill me; heck one has already tried! The thing that makes this choice more difficult is that I do not think I would qualify for immediate reconstruction because we do not know how many lymph nodes had/have cancer in them. If I have over a certain amount of lymph nodes effected I will need radiation and they just do not do reconstruction before radiation. So I could face being boobless or a one boober for awhile. Not fun. So I have been exploring the internet looking up breast forms, bras etc. Information about recovery times from different procedures etc. It is all very sad and scary. But in the end I will make the hard choices and reach my goal of growing old with my husband.
I am going to try to start posting to this blog more often now that I am past chemo, so check back for updates.
On a positive note I got hair trying to come back in!!! So its time for hairwatch 2013!!! hehehe. I will keep you updated and post pics of my progress! After chemo hair can come in differently. So... will my hair come in curly or straight? what color will it be? will I just dye it anyways. We will see. I am going to try and have fun with this part.
That is all for now,
-I Fight Like A Woman
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Last Chemo Day!!
Huzzah, As a gamer chic I think I most certainly leveled. The actual infusion was not bad, got home and surprisingly did not fall straight to sleep. I did take a small nap tho. Now is the time of infusion night when the side effects begin to creep in, boo hiss! I just need to keep thinking is that it is killing the cancer. I am so going for a PCR (Pathological Complete Response).
I and my husband are currently in the process of making a difficult decision about my upcoming surgery. Hopefully we will make the right one.
Next steps are surgery, pills, possible radiation and reconstruction. So much more ahead of me. Right now I am a mix of emotions, so happy that I am done with Chemo! Angry that all of this is happening to me. Hopeful that everything will turn out okay. Terrified that the cancer can come back.
That is the thing about breast cancer. It can always come back. There will always be a chance that there are dormant cancer cells in my body that the chemo did not kill. I am doing everything possible to prevent that!
Any who, on the positive side, i finished my last chemo today! The hair on my head seems to be coming back slowly and patchy. My nails are growing again. And hopefully we will have spring weather soon!
On the sad side. A wonderful lady from one of my chemo support groups got her wings yesterday/this morning. She was an amazing woman who is leaving behind a beautiful family. I pray for her and her family. She was such an inspiration to all of us in the group. She was so brave and did so well on her whole journey. I hope she knew/knows how much we all love her and how proud of her we are. RIP my sister!
That is all for now,
-I Fight Like a Woman
I and my husband are currently in the process of making a difficult decision about my upcoming surgery. Hopefully we will make the right one.
Next steps are surgery, pills, possible radiation and reconstruction. So much more ahead of me. Right now I am a mix of emotions, so happy that I am done with Chemo! Angry that all of this is happening to me. Hopeful that everything will turn out okay. Terrified that the cancer can come back.
That is the thing about breast cancer. It can always come back. There will always be a chance that there are dormant cancer cells in my body that the chemo did not kill. I am doing everything possible to prevent that!
Any who, on the positive side, i finished my last chemo today! The hair on my head seems to be coming back slowly and patchy. My nails are growing again. And hopefully we will have spring weather soon!
On the sad side. A wonderful lady from one of my chemo support groups got her wings yesterday/this morning. She was an amazing woman who is leaving behind a beautiful family. I pray for her and her family. She was such an inspiration to all of us in the group. She was so brave and did so well on her whole journey. I hope she knew/knows how much we all love her and how proud of her we are. RIP my sister!
That is all for now,
-I Fight Like a Woman
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Chemo is hell
Hi All,
Sorry for the delay in posting but, chemo has been sucking, with each infusion I stay sick longer.
Anywho, Wonderful news! Tomorrow is my last infusion of Taxotere and Carboplatin! All I will have to continue getting is Herceptin for a year. Taxotere and Carboplatin are a bear but, so far, Herceptin is not that bad. As promised here are photos of a typical infusion day!
It all begins with checking in, getting vitals taken and blood work!
During chemo you become a human pincushion of sorts. But my phlebotomy team is awesome, so it is not so bad.
Then the next picture shows the joy on my face when I get to see the Oncologist every three weeks! I complain about what ails me then they say something to to tune of I know, perhaps prescribe something but the main message is suck it up, only __ this many more!
Then I take my ticket and go into the infusion room and choose my recliner, These are actually pretty comfy. Here I sit waiting for my port to be accessed.
The next picture shows my friend the IV pole that controls the flow of pois *cough* I mean medicine into my body. Aw heck who am I kidding, I get poison IV's every week and I am still here to tell the tale, pretty cool huh?
Next few pictures are of the premeds I get and take to help my body be able to tolerate the poison. I get 5 different drugs to protect me from the Taxotere, Carboplatin and Herceptin. In no particular order, Decadron (Steriod), Emend (Nausea), Benadryl (Antihistamine), Tylenol, and Aloxi (anti nausea).
Port Accessed, time to get the premeds flowing!!
Next pic I believe is the Herceptin flowing.
Best pic, my view from my chair, that is the bathroom across the way, I always try to sit near a bathroom, and you can see the best support in the world off to the side, that is my husband. I love him so, he is the reason I am fighting so hard. I will grow old with that man!!
There are many more steps in this journey until I am well again but I am so happy that the Chemo will be over soon.
For those going through this are about to go through Chemo as you can see, it is scary but all in all not too bad. I promise after the first infusion you get used to the actual infusion, people are nice and it is a relaxing place. Hang in there you will make it through!
That is all for now
-I Fight Like A Woman
Sorry for the delay in posting but, chemo has been sucking, with each infusion I stay sick longer.
Anywho, Wonderful news! Tomorrow is my last infusion of Taxotere and Carboplatin! All I will have to continue getting is Herceptin for a year. Taxotere and Carboplatin are a bear but, so far, Herceptin is not that bad. As promised here are photos of a typical infusion day!
It all begins with checking in, getting vitals taken and blood work!
During chemo you become a human pincushion of sorts. But my phlebotomy team is awesome, so it is not so bad.
Then the next picture shows the joy on my face when I get to see the Oncologist every three weeks! I complain about what ails me then they say something to to tune of I know, perhaps prescribe something but the main message is suck it up, only __ this many more!
Then I take my ticket and go into the infusion room and choose my recliner, These are actually pretty comfy. Here I sit waiting for my port to be accessed.
The next picture shows my friend the IV pole that controls the flow of pois *cough* I mean medicine into my body. Aw heck who am I kidding, I get poison IV's every week and I am still here to tell the tale, pretty cool huh?
Next few pictures are of the premeds I get and take to help my body be able to tolerate the poison. I get 5 different drugs to protect me from the Taxotere, Carboplatin and Herceptin. In no particular order, Decadron (Steriod), Emend (Nausea), Benadryl (Antihistamine), Tylenol, and Aloxi (anti nausea).
Port Accessed, time to get the premeds flowing!!
Next pic I believe is the Herceptin flowing.
There are many more steps in this journey until I am well again but I am so happy that the Chemo will be over soon.
For those going through this are about to go through Chemo as you can see, it is scary but all in all not too bad. I promise after the first infusion you get used to the actual infusion, people are nice and it is a relaxing place. Hang in there you will make it through!
That is all for now
-I Fight Like A Woman
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